TheUrbanShop “HEROICALLY” Saves the World as Christmas is Cancelled! (Maybe)

It’s long been know that Santa Claus lives in the Nordic region with Mrs Claus and his helper elves who tend his reindeer and help make presents for the children of the world. What is less well known is Kris (as he prefers to be called) lives and invests heavily in Iceland and as we all know Iceland has been burdened by the global financial meltdown, more to the point Kris had huge investments held by Icelandic banking giant Landsbanki, which was the parent company of internet banking provider Icesave, and this collapsed recently freezing funds. Kris is not a happy chappy and the usual “ho ho ho” cannot be heard ringing through his Santa factories. Due to generous welfare systems and high wages Kris has recently had to let go many of the traditional Santa’s helpers that made presents for children all over the world and helped tend the reindeers. El Ves union representative for Santa’s helpers is quoted as saying “many of the helpers that have worked for many years with Kris are having to return to traditional jobs in shoemaking, but this is a small market and Kris was the biggest single employer of elves in the world, it will have knock on effects”.

Recently Kris released this shock statement “if the global economy continues the path it is going I’m not sure if Santa’s factories and indeed Christmas can survive”, this will have a huge effect and millions of children worldwide could wake up Christmas morning with no presents and wonder what Christmas is all about without Santa. We put that question to Kris and he replied “yes it is that bad, we are all trying our hardest but we may have to miss out some countries or cut back on some of the naughty children”, he went on to add “It’s a sign of the times and very sad but yes, Santa is bigger that Jesus”.

This leaves one very important question, well two actually - will Christmas survive and has anybody got a job for a fat lad with flying reindeer for one day a year?

We asked TheUrbanShop.co.uk for their comments: “in light of these latest statements from Kris we at TheUrbanShop are cancelling Christmas and moving on to The January Sales early”. When reminding TheUrbanShop that January sales are actually named after the calendar month, they responded: ”It may seem odd to have January sales in December but as Kris says things are hard out there. I mean who ever thought elves would have to return to shoe making?”